Man Rushed to Hospital After Drinking Dihydrogen Monoxide

--Boston, Ma.

     Twenty Five year old, Patrick Monroe was rushed to Boston Medical Center after accidently ingesting fifty mililiters of Dyhidrogen Monoxide solution that had been poured into a common squirt bottle. This was a bottle that was used by his classmate at Harvard University's laboratory.

     This was Patrick's first day working at the laboratory and this was not what he had expected when taking on this role. When Patrick learned that he had ingested this chemical, his heart rate increased and he dialed 911 as soon as his classmate revealed the name of the chemical. During the emergency phone call, Patrick fainted out of shock and fell the to the floor.

Patrick Monroe, Harvard class of 2019 hiking Mount Washington

     Patrick was treated at the hospital for head wounds and MRI scans revealed abnormalities in the graduate student's brain. 

     The apparent disregard to the laboratory's policy of eating and drinking was quickly brought up to the Department Chair, Dr. O'neal. Proper chemical labeling was also brought up since the squirt bottle had not label on it. 

     "It is strongly against our policy for any person working at the laboratory to drink or eat anything, whether it's a sandwich or a chemical. We will quickly handle this matter and make sure that all chemicals are properly labeled." 

     Patrick's classmate, Steve Huntington who witnessed the event, did not want to comment when asked about the incident. 

     "What is the name of the chemical?" asked the Department Chair. 

     When informed that it was indeed Dihydrogen Monoxide, Dr. O'neal laughed. "This is a joke right? Please tell me this is a joke." He was informed that this was indeed not a joke and that Patrick was recovering at Boston Medical Center. 

     "I should have double-checked Patrick's background. How embarrasing," he sighed.